My Life – A Speculation

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               My Life –  A Speculation

 

Amid trials and tribulations my life flows,

Akin to a candle in the hurricane, it glows,

Caught in violent eddies flutters its flame,

Start and a finish, how wondrous it came!

 

A rudderless canoe at the clemency of waves,

One tireless eagle set on conflicts; he braves,           

Dithering shall stay my biography in advance,

Lure and hang-up and then my endless dance!

 

The reality in earnest or a speculation ’twas,

A growth from want to want, a tumult ’twas,

Hard learning, crossroads and bridges along,

How to absorb? Which way I must go along?

 

My whole life’s a stir and my emotions strong,

My fantasy or adoration but whereto I belong?

My inanity or pleasure I knew nought my goal,

Lost in the flurry of throng I famished my soul.

 

What? A power or a mixture of bliss and sorrow,

Dangled ’twixt the two rival ends I didn’t follow,

The complexities of maze which were too secure,

Too tame, too prosaic, intriguing but verily sure!

 

A continuing song, a blossom or an oasis in life,

How bare and unfruitful, dry and weary of strife!

The unexamined lingered far-off and so the near,

Animosity blossomed to unveil a face ever clear!

 

An opportunity or a business in continuous flow,

Marvelous and grand yet ’twas shallow and low,

Wearing down my nerves, what a baffling thing!

Kisses from death ah I watched the fall in spring.

 

My soul was slashed and the depths lay exposed,

Unshared passions and the enigmas undisclosed,

Ah a dark forest and in the battle I was engaged,

Cruelly bruised and scathed and never assuaged.

 

I had voyaged in the world of values or my soul,

Now existing then not existing, whither my roll?

Who divides? Who unites? A triumph or defeat!

A thunderous reply! Just speculation and deceit!        



By Riaz Ahmad Raja Dr. September 27, 2005

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